


The Phantom Nostalgia

by ThreeHats



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 21:05:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7523113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThreeHats/pseuds/ThreeHats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>George Lucas is given a second chance to make his trilogy, with Levi as the lead in a state-funded attempt to create a movie industry within the walls.  Lucas looks back at his work on one of the prequels.  This is just as weird as you think it is.</p><p>All characters, locations and scenarios were pulled out of a hat to create this story, which was written in 30 minutes or less.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Phantom Nostalgia

**Characters:** Levi (Attack on Titan) and George Lucas   
**Location:** Desert  
 **Scenario:** Being nostalgic about the 90s

 

All characters, locations and scenarios were pulled out of a hat to create this story, which was written in 30 minutes or less.

\--

Levi heaved a heavy sigh, wiping at his ugly eyebrows with the back of his hand as he squinted his already squished eyes against the glare of the sun. The sand sizzled as the heat radiated off the earth's surface, the horizon glistening with the promise of water that didn't actually exist. Levi turned in its directon regardless, shuffling away from the burning wreckage of his land vehicle in the hopes of finding civilization.

"Aaaaaaand cut!"

A bell rang, signaling the end of the take, and people rushed in with extinguishers to eliminate the smouldering flames of his prop speeder. 

"Did we get it?" Levi asked, shielding his eyes as he looked at the director, who was none other than the legendary George Lucas.

"Yeah, it's done. Go have a seat while we set up the next shot."

Levi nodded and trotted over to a small tent that had been assigned to him. Ducking under the flap, Levi plopped in a stiff, uncomfortable chair that was immune to the curse of sand that seemed to get everywhere. Ruffling his ugly bangs, Levi closed his eyes, and everyone reading this heaved a sigh of relief because they didn't have to picture them anymore, because Levi's eyes were the 2nd worst feature he had.

Ever since humanity had won the war against the Titans, technology and entertainment grew at an alarming pace. In just a decade, the humans trapped behind the multiple walls had made contact with those living outside of it, on other continents who had remained untouched by the devastation that the Titans had brought. Namely, Americans, who when they came to visit the walled kingdom brought with them things like phones, cameras, cars, and a plethora of other conveniences. Star Wars was one of these conveniences, and it ripped through their culture like a wildfire so passionately that the kingdom had hired George Lucas himself to make a third trilogy, separate from the Force Awakens, set entirely in the settings available within the walls. As George Lucas was a large fan of Levi's record as a Titan slayer, and as it was legally impossible for a protagonist in an anime to be over the age of 16, by the time Lucas was casting, Levi was still young enough to play the scrappy lead. Levi didn't know how good of an actor he was (he was terrible), but it was an easy way to make money that didn't involve murdering people of any size.

The flap to his tent shuddered open once again, revealing the director himself behind it. 

"Mind if I come in for a minute?" Lucas asked, and Levi nodded once as he rubbed a cool bottle of water on the back of his neck. George sat across from him in the other similarly uncomfortable cloth chair present in the structure.

"I tell you, man," Lucas sighed as he grabbed a bottle for himself from the cooler lying at his feet. "I am so glad to be back in the saddle on this one. When they didn't ask me to come back for Force Awakens, it really burned me up."

Levi grunted in response; he hadn't seen any of these movies because he was an idiot, so he didn't particularly have a strong opinion about them. Maybe if they were on trial he would kick them into submission for no real reason, but other than that, he didn't really care.

"Everyone just wants to define me by The Phantom Menace," George continued without paying attention to Levi, which was the best way to live life in this author's humble opinion. "They don't understand just how much work went into it; how many hours we spent perfecting the design of locations, characters, weapons... It was a huge undertaking. And our work with Jar Jar was some of the most advanced, ground-breaking stuff ever done in film at the time. You kids are spoiled with your Smeagols--Ahmed Best didn't have people like Andy Serkis to look at for inspiration."

"I don't know what an Andy Serkis or a Smeagol is," Levi said flatly. Lucas ignored him--good on you George.

"And you know, Andy does good work, don't get me wrong. But Ahmed laid that groundwork for him, and he gets nothing for it aside from ridicule. And I don't get anything aside from ridicule."

George Lucas sat back in his chair, taking a long swig of water while Levi silently watched him with no real interest in anything he had to say. Or maybe it just looked that way because Levi always looks stupid and miserable.

"When I sold the rights to Star Wars, I thought I'd just sit back and let the money make itself and let other people squabble over other people's failed attemps at my creative vision," Lucas wiped a bit of sweat from the top of his upper lip. "But you know, I'm glad you guys have given me a new chance with this. I think it's gonna be real big. Bigger than the Force Awakens, even."

"Why was it sleeping in the first place?" Levi asked. Lucas continued to ignore him.

"They'll see they were wrong."

"What is this one called?" Levi asked, and for once, George Lucas responded.

"Star Wars VII: The Ewoks fucked the Gungans."

"I don't know what either of those are."

"Son, when this movie is over, you'll wish you never had."


End file.
